Brain Mountain

by Armon Pakdel

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my indie hip-hop debut release
ima rill rapster

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released April 1, 2014

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Armon Pakdel Portland, Oregon

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Track Name: Coin Flip
Speak to me about your situation I could never sympathize
Admitting your own mistakes resolves the need to criticize

Just because you hear Plato’s words over and over again
Doesn’t mean you’re above them

Speak louder, real power
Means the only words you hear are your own
Drown everyone out so you’ll never be alone
You’ll never be wrong if you can only hear yourself
And your own words tell you that you’ll never need help

Reading the wikipedia summary equates to full subject mastery
Speak to a greater degree like Rand is the easy way to self flattery

Can we define “we”?
Or even speak to that degree?
No room or need to get in touch with the self
What is the self? Is it something you can sell?
What’s the value of a soul?
What does it take to have control?

Transcend the senses
Let the machines decide
If I’m the smartest man alive
Or just another part of the hive mind

Either I’m an intellectual
Or I’ve just been drinking too much coffee laced with adderall

In an opera
I could be on top of ya
Belting animal noises
Like an onomatopoeia

Breaking rules
For the sake of breaking rules
Desensitized to nudity
Breasts react to gravity

One day
I’m gonna find a way
Equal give and take
Tu m'as tellement manqué

Let’s pretend that we’re somewhere else
Keyword pretend
As in lie
Fuck and get out of my life

La la la
I don’t wanna hear your opera
Riggity riggity rarara
Rock
Postmodern chocolat
Steampunk visions
Hit & run in the motherfucking parking lot

Feeling good about my state of mind
But its a coin flip every time
Track Name: The Bandit King
I wish I wasn’t so alone sometimes
Cause all the friends I have are functionally concubines
I wish I didn’t have to wish or be so demanding
Cause its not like I’m not trying to be understanding

The bandit king

Trust in me
I am a trust fund baby
I like to meet a lot of different types of ladies
Like to try new things, I like to try new styles
I like to tell myself that I’m not denial

But that’s counter intuitive
Ambiguous, superlative
Imaginary allegory
Aleatory alimony
Throw the dice, play the cards
Check the board, look at the stars
Say the word, make it work
Magic circle in the dark

Summon demons with the power of believing
In a superstition manufactured by a band of heathens
Tear a hole inside your blanket
You can peek into the realm of unneeded
And forgotten and the rotten and the damages untold

Be adventurous, be bold
Don’t be someone else's mold
To believe in and to bleed in and to have a hand to hold
Life is a nightmare
Living is unfair
I can’t believe in any god who isn’t right here

Addressing me directly with a message meant as holy
But a different kind of story is the one that I will tell
I can tell you what god told me but that’s tedious and boring
And I’d honestly be lying if I said we’re not in hell

I am the bandit king

I wish I didn’t know all that I know
Cause all I know about the afterlife is burning a hole
Inside my frontal lobe, this demon needs to go
You have to pull it out, you have to strap me down
You have to take it to a place beyond the silver door
You have to hurt it like you hurt me give me just a little more
Drive the knife into my skull, knife into my skull

Summon demons with the power of believing
In a superstition manufactured by a band of heathens
Tear a hole inside your blanket
You can peek into the realm of unneeded
And forgotten and the rotten and the damages untold

He is hideous and cold
He is thousands of years old
Unforgiving like the father stealing everything you hold
Life is an amputee
Living is not for me
I can’t believe in anyone who doesn't see what I see

Knife into my skull, my life is full when I sleepwalk
No one hears me talking to the devil if I don’t talk
Don’t tell me what to do
I know you don’t believe that I feel deja vu
When I kiss you
When I fuck you
Fuck you

Addressing me directly with a message meant as holy
But a different kind of story is the one that I will tell
I can tell you what god told me but that’s tedious and boring
And I’d honestly be lying if I said we’re not in hell, in hell, in hell
Track Name: Boomerang
Manic static ecstatic lets raise our glasses to
Plastic passive aggressive underhanded tactics

I am a ghost
Cause I'm possessive
I'm a surrogate
Massive in size
Host in a house of magic
Lying in a bed full of lies

I'm like the lord of the flies
I'm self deceptive
I like to call myself wise
I'm self descriptive
I'm so ashamed when I cry
I'm self destructive
I never think more than twice
It's what my gut says

Tickle my dick while I flick on your nipple
I Think foreplay is underrated but i am sexually fickle
I say I like to fuck around
But I'm actually in the middle of another thing
Ain't love a bitch?
No, its a boomerang

Sex magic keep it simple read a book about it
Five or more times a day is it a little bit too much
Waiting for a girl who can keep up
Fucking waiting for a girl who's pretty wearing no make up

They say your gut says the right thing first
But what about when my gut has no time to rehearse
Cause just when you start thinking I cant say nothing worse
I’m blurting the worst fucking thing in the universe, swag

Blast the last of the bastard standards procrastinating
Grass fed fast worded bombastic fascinating
I am obsessed with the fact that California doesn't believe in me
It wasn't built for me

I seek home in places I've never been to
Looking for answers in hardships that I've never been through
Am I doing something wrong when I trust you
Like I'm digging for intangible truth

Another ice age
Tell me what you wanna do next
Cause if i had the fucking answer I’d know what to expect
I put my name on the page
I drive seven hours south
I don’t remember your name
I put my dick in your mouth
I put my dick in your mouth, mouth
Track Name: She's In Sequence
She’s in sequence
She’s jumping off the deep end
She’s the consequence
She thinks the perfect nonsense
She’s sick of hearing everything I have to say about her psychiatric condition
But I’m not on a mission

To bring her down or fuck around or even tamper with the sound waves
So it don’t bother when the ground shakes
Its not a medical mystery
Its not a magical cure for inconvenient diseases

She’s in sequence
Defending all her reasons
Incredibly illogical
They cycle with the seasons
She’s terrified of listening to anyone who notices her crumbling psyche
That’s why it is likely

She’s in sequence, there is no real defense
I wonder if I’m right will she confess it in the present tense
I wanna know why its so impossible now
That her disorder is actually still lingering around

But when subjective absolution comes into the picture
Its hard to understand why she’d deny the scriptures
Of the cobweb concrete convex cortex
Infinite contraction of the brain mountain vortex

She’s in sequence
She won’t admit her weakness
She’s in sequence
Aborting the experience
She’s in sequence
There’s nothing left but sickness
She’s in sequence
She’s in sequence

I don’t care if James Joyce forged her polygraph
I don’t care if Andy Warhol wrote her epitaph
I don’t care if there is nothing left
She’s the most complete person I have ever met

Living without undeniable evidence
Sleeping on top of mechanical pressure pins
Learning to vindicate absolute evil
I wonder how long it will take to make medicine

There is no cure for diseases like these
Only research that robs the last shred of my sanity
I could be vivid when I sell my sympathy
Argument solid I’ll sell it as therapy

Insanity, closure, illusions confuse her
A buffer for paranoid silent attackers
Sentient fiction a battle with friction
A story redundant with each new rendition

A messianic prophecy a weight upon her shoulders
She’s trying to be with someone who cannot even hold her
She treats me like I’m just another one in lin
She makes me feel like I’m wasting her time

She’s in sequence
She’s jumping off the deep end
She’s the consequence
She thinks the perfect nonsense
She’s sick of hearing everything I have to say about her psychiatric condition
But I’m not on a mission
To bring her down or fuck around or even tamper with the sound waves
So it don’t bother when the ground shakes
Its not a medical mystery
Its not a magical cure for inconvenient diseases

She’s in sequence
She won’t admit her weakness
She’s in sequence
Aborting the experience
She’s in sequence
There’s nothing left but sickness
She’s in sequence
She’s in sequence
Track Name: Walking Proxy
Whether complex is
Something you can find acting reckless
Don’t confuse complexity with numbers on the check, she says

Every single line in my poem is infectious
Like you’d find on spray-painted bathroom stalls in Austin, Texas

This cryptomnesia every theme subject to seizure
Unintentional amendments can be stolen at my leisure

Nobody wants to sit back and be stolen from
Every copilot is second to one
Captain, why can’t I be part of the action

I got the charm to fool a trickster god Anansi, Loki
Mercury, hermes, any raven or coyote

Brain surgeon precision
I make a decision
I’m free from derision
I’ve got tunnel vision

From the shock she thinks she sees
Her own walking proxy

Been to the bottom
Back up around
Come crashing down like a
Walking proxy

Been to the bottom
Back up around
And I come crashing down like a
Walking proxy, yeah

You call them borderline counterfeit
You can buy some other shit
You can be illiterate

I’m the master thief
Now suspend your disbelief
Take a beating from the hierarchy, wallow in your grief

You got a fine arts A.A.
Scholarships and accolades
Nobody knows if you passion is real
Or if your ambition is running away

Tangent
I create a wealth of real content
If that makes a martyr out of me, immortal torment

God-sent
I’ll distort the fabric of the universal margin
Generate something from nothing to punish the starving

Invisibility
Vision is nobody
At least in hindsight I see 20/20

From the shock she thinks she sees
Her own walking proxy

Been to the bottom
Back up around
Come crashing down like a
Walking proxy

Been to the bottom
Back up around
And I come crashing down like a
Walking proxy, yeah
Track Name: Even You
Even you aren’t immune to despair
I can read you from here, i can beat you from there

You’re a zealot, you’re a widow
You’re a silhouette a shadow
You’re a superficial shallow
Piece of meat, baby

I’m allowed to say what’s on my mind
Cause according to you we are totally fine

You’re a liar and an object
That’s not taken out of context
That’s the only honest thing
That I’ve said all year

Loving you is like loving a mirror
I can see you in me, I am there, I am here

You’re a lone wolf
You’re about to engulf
Everything I love, every item on my bucket list

Even you can’t abandon a crisis
I call it criticism you call it kindness

You’re a genius
Saying it is meaningless
I don’t think you’re gorgeous I think you’re a goddess

---

I don’t know if you know what I think
But I know that you probably know we’re in sync

You are one with your anger
A lonely little doppelganger
Try to condescend with your silly little smile

I’m not sure if I hate or admire
That I never can tell if you’re fine or on fire

You’re a salty little devil
And we’ve got a score to settle
Do I really have to sit through this whole fucking play

Not that I know the way that it ends
Not to judge from the truth that her sarcasm lends

You’re a terrible example
You’re in ruin, you’re in shambles
Do you even know what mixed signal means?

I don’t like the direction this leads
This relationship has more than one set of needs

You’re incredible
You are terrible
Why do you think the whole world’s against you?

---

Even you know you’re not so unique
Why does love always fade at its absolute peak

You’re the sum of my ambition
You’re a victim of contrition
Doesn’t everyone you meet mention how beautiful you are?

Is it really so hard to admit
That by saying you love me you were full of shit

You’re a scam artist
Had to try my very hardest
Had to dress like a fucking tool to impress you

Even though you are once in a lifetime
I could use some help deciding, 50/50 lifeline

You are floating like a bubble
You’re about to be in trouble
When you spiral when you crash, girl

Even you aren’t content to obscurity
You are not that innocent don’t overplay your purity

Disappointed, battleplan disjointed
Even you’ll admit that this was destined to fail